May 2010
1 post
Old Standards and New Hopes
I was talking to my friend Alex A. the other day while he was having potty trouble. He was on the toilet and thought he needed another wipe (just to be safe), but that would’ve entailed him getting up and getting a new roll of TP. He asked me whether he should finish then and there or go get a new role, but I hit him with option number tres: “Are you gonna be taking a shower...
February 2010
1 post
NYU is a sucking, fucking, fuck-suck
The National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning for the New York City area; snow and high winds are expected to begin late tonight. I have been at NYU for 13 years; because of how many members of our community live nearby and because our transit system seldom fails us, we have rarely had to close. Accordingly, at this point, NYU expects to be open tomorrow, Wednesday, February 10;...
January 2010
1 post
October 2009
2 posts
Poop Talk
Sometimes when I’m on the toilet I have some trouble pooping. Sometimes just a little nugget comes out when I’m expecting a log, and when I eventually give up, I look down and nothing’s there. Sometimes, such a time passes from the initial drop that I’m no longer sure if I pooped at all. But I know it’s behind that useless bend in the porcelain, waiting.
Sometimes...
I'm Prejudiced
For a while, I’ve been debating with myself the pros and cons of the two routes I can take to get home. They’re about the same distance but one takes you through the little carribean (nostrand) and the other takes you through jew town (kingston). I’m sort of paranoid walking down nostrand because sometimes there’s this black homeless guy who asks me to buy him baby formula...
September 2009
6 posts
Weird Times at Suck My Dick High
Life is getting pretty weird in this neighborhood. A few days ago, I’m walking home and I look to my right and this hasid next to me has this expression on like “you just caught me trying to take your wallet,” but if my wallet had been on my shoulder. I think he was gonna pat me but thought better of it when I looked at him. Then he asked me if I was jewish and I said no, and...
Thoughts, caveats re: pasta sandwich
So, now that I’ve had a full night to digest the pasta sandwich I made last night, there are a few things I’d like to talk about.
I have to admit that the whole operation was pretty poorly executed. I didn’t heat up the vodka sauce, which meant luke warm pasta; the ratio of meat to cheese to pasta was way off, although I think I put in the right amount of onions. If you try this...
Suck My Dick
Today I did some shopping. I got some pink lady apples from the co-op on 4th st. and some notebooks at the NYU bookstore and then I went to Babeland. There were lots of cool things there that I wanted to try with babes. Unfortunately I am single. I bought some condoms along with the lube to hide the fact that I am single but the lady at the register must have known because she gave me, like, 20...