Weird Times at Suck My Dick High
Life is getting pretty weird in this neighborhood. A few days ago, I’m walking home and I look to my right and this hasid next to me has this expression on like “you just caught me trying to take your wallet,” but if my wallet had been on my shoulder. I think he was gonna pat me but thought better of it when I looked at him. Then he asked me if I was jewish and I said no, and then he talked about the jewish new year and the end of the world etc. I feel a little bad telling all the hasids that I’m not jewish; I could totally get down with nodding to some dudes wearing all black on the walk home, but that’s a slippery slope. I do not want to participate in round-robin dreidel tournaments. I do not want to contract a peanut butter allergy. So they can all just fucking suck my dick.
Also, two nights ago I was walking home and some girl, walking with another girl and a dude, asked me for a cigarette. Long story short, I ended up in the dude (my neighbord)’s backyard watching the girl decapitate a chicken. I decided to stay until they cooked it and ate it, but that took like 3 hours and they were all on xanax and there was some drama i didn’t understand so it was like, half too mellow, half too awkward. I did get to watch an episode of seinfeld on their projector and the chicken was good, but fuck that shit. Also, the dude gave me an empty jug. But still. Suck my dick.